Rob “I’ve been dead poorly, me” Smedley, Qualifying, 2014 Bahrain Grand Prix.
Well well well. Well well well well well well well. Rob Smedley’s well-documented struggles as a folk musician continue.
During his transition from the red team to the stripey team, Rob became lost in the wilderness with naught but a mandolin for company. He busked, he gigged, he tried his hand at the accordion, he sang I Will Wait at the open mic night of a dusty middle-class pub more times than he can count. Caught in a smart/casual maelstrom of tweed, cardigans and fedoras, he was rescued on Thursday and quarantined in his Bahrain hotel room until the worst effects of his odyssey had worn off.
Still hasn’t had chance to nip to a barber, though.
Charles - Friday practice, Bahrain
There’s an auburn elephant in the room which we’ll get to in a moment, but first we’ll point out that former Caterham driver/current garage loiterer Charles Pic is trying his best to look like a grown up. Or a singer/songwriter.
"I was obviously a lot younger when we did that one race together, but [Nick] always looked so young, then he grew the beard. But, I mean, that’s a mega bonus - imagine, he’s forty, he can take the beard off and still look like twenty-five."-Seb Vettel believes he has figured out Das BeardKing’s facerug strategy. We at F1BEARDWATCH would be shaken to our very cores if he were to be correct.
Well, we at F1BEARDWATCH cannot criticise Nelson for having a bumfluff moustache in his younger days; in fact, it was quite the healthy, dense specimen. However, this does not change the fact that, in combination with that wavy seventies mop, it made him look as though he should’ve been playing bass for Rod Stewart and selling merchandise out of the back of a knackered Transit van.
We at F1BEARDWATCH have finally gotten our hands on the Rush Blu-Ray, rejoice! We were pleased to find a lovely shot of our Patron Saint Harald Ertl - as played by Tom Wlaschiha - loitering in the back of shot during the feature Race For The Chequered Flag: The Making Of Rush. He seems to be thinking “SOON.”
"SOON MY BEARD WILL TAKE OVER THIS FEATURE/THE WORLD," maybe.
We at F1BEARDWATCH wake bleary-eyed from our winter slumber to the glorious sight of Timo Glock displaying his full, bristly plumage on the cover of Germany’s DMAX magazine. Look at him, all rugged and hairy, like he’s going to hike up a mountain and fell a redwood just by nuzzling it. Phwoar! Ahem.
Look, Braun, we have enough to deal with thanks to Gillette. Stop it.
“Movember treated me well this year. Only took 24 years to grow.”
We at F1BEARDWATCH suspect that Daniel used Movember merely as an excuse to not shave for ages - his mo’ being much less impressive than the rest of his chin fur - but we deeply appreciate the before-during-and-after collage, as well as his self-deprecating caption.
(P.S. Top right is our favourite.)
Some debate but Timo says it’s a real beard! I’m impressed for one.
Has he been gone too long to qualify for F1BeardWatch?
We at F1BEARDWATCH meant to remark upon Mr. Glock’s ever developing Proper Beard some time ago, but in all honesty, we have been a bit shit lately. Timo’s Teutonic t…facial hair absolutely deserves a spot here (and we also think there must have been something in the West German water back in the day).
Este açuleraaaa… /// the champ…#Vettel
- From Ruben’s Instagram
Speaking of fuzz gravitating together…
By the way, we must applaud Sebastian on what is easily his strongest beard so far. A little bottom heavy, but we can’t fault the effort.
When Jenson’s drivers’ parade car failed in Austin, his beard went into action. To preserve the dignity of its host (and get said host back to the paddock in good time), it helped him gravitate towards another fuzz-bearer. They’re stronger in packs, you know.
F1BEARDWATCH would also like to add that it is pleased to see Jenson rebelling so emphatically against our nemesis Gillette.